


Naruto Tumblr Drabbles

by UncommonVillian



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UncommonVillian/pseuds/UncommonVillian
Summary: A collection of my Naruto drabbles from Tumblr.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru/Temari
Series: Tumblr Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178744
Kudos: 2





	1. Naruto’s Holiday Breakdown 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Naruto *after a terrible dinner disaster that left most of his dinning room in shambles, he walks in to see the Uchihas and Naras leaving*: Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We’re all in this together! This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the **hap** , **hap** , happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!

Sasuke: You’re goofy.

Naruto: Don’t piss me off, teme.

Sakura: Naruto, it’s over.

Naruto: Not according to Santa’s watch it’s isn’t.

Shikamaru: Now c’mon, Naruto-

Naruto: Stay out of this, Shikamaru.

Sakura: Naruto, I think it’d be best if everyone went home *unlocks door* before things get worse.

Naruto: WORSE? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, Sakura! We’re at the threshold of hell!


	2. Naruto’s Holiday Breakdown: Squirrel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Nation Lampoon’s Christmas Vaction inspired Naruto short. I had to do this part XD

A squirrel gets into Naruto and Sakura’s house and scares everyone. Everyone runs out of the living room after Hinata faints. Naruto calms everyone down and takes a look in the living room. The squirrel runs past Hinata as she wakes up and Naruto jumps and shivers, causing everyone to panic again.

Naruto: Shh! Shh!…Hinata, don’t move!

Hinata: *lays perfectly still*

Naruto: Can’t let it get outta the living room…Where’s Lee? He usually plays with these things?

TenTen: Oh, not recently, Naruto. One tried to bite is nose off.

Naruto *annoyed*: Thank you, TenTen…I’m gonna have to trap it. Shina!

Shinachiku *being held by Temari next to him*: Right here, dad.

Naruto *looks down*: Oh, there you are…Go get the hammer.

Sakura: Naruto, what do you need a hammer for?

Naruto *takes off his coat*: I’m gonna catch in my coat…smack it with the hammer.

Almost everyone gasp, Sasuke and Hinata’s twin girls squeal in fear while Ino faints.

Sasuke: I’m going in with him. *walks in slowly with Naruto then over to Hinata on the ground* Hinata? Hinata!

Hinata *getting up*: Is he gone?

Naruto: Probably got scared and ran back into the tree. *turns to reveal the squirrel clinging to his back*

Sasuke *noticing it*: **SQUIRREL!!!**

Everyone screams and runs up stairs, Naruto not realizing that the squirrel was on his back still. One of Kakashi’s dogs comes bashing through the laundry room door and up the stairs after the squirrel. Everyone, Naruto in the lead, runs back down stairs and hides in the living room as the dog chases the squirrel around the house. Naruto leaves the living room and opens the door to see the squirrel and dog running towards him.

Naruto: AH!

He runs to the front door to let them both out only to see one of his neighbors coming to complain about the noise and she sees the animals running towards her before screaming. The squirrel jumps on her then the dog.

Naruto *closes the front door*: Gone.


	3. Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of my favorite scene from the movie Hannibal

Sasuke had his back to Hinata as she snuck up behind him, kunai in hand. He was a missing nin and was deemed to dangerous to live. Yet, here his stood, lining up a fishing pole, not even aware she was there. She was ready to strike when he spun around and grabbed her wrist. The two struggled until he slammed her into a tree, incapacitating her. He used his right arm to pin her against the tree and pulled the kunai from her hand his his left one. The two stopped and looked at each other.

Sasuke: I came half way around the world to watch you run, Hyuuga. Let me run.

He let her go, but she tried to throttle him. He fought back and threw her again into the tree. He took her kunai and pinned her jacket and undershirt against the tree, snapping the handle off. The two looked at each other again, this time into each others eyes.

Sasuke: Tell me, Hinata. Would you ever say to me “Stop, if you love me you’d stop”?

Hinata: …Not in a thousand years…

Sasuke: “Not in a thousand years”…That’s my girl.

He then kisses her and leaves.


	4. Hiashi's Guilt

Naruto: Thank you for the tea, Lord Hiashi.

Hiashi: Of course, Lord Hokage. Tell me, how is your son?

Naruto: Shina’s great. He’s getting straight As through his classes.

Hiashi: Good. Very good…

Naruto stares at Hiashi.

Hiashi: Anything you want to ask me, Lord Hokage?

Naruto: Want any news on your grandchildren?

Hiashi: I don’t have any grandchildren. Hanabi is still without-

Naruto: I’m talking about Akira, Momo, Neji and Itachi.

Hiashi: …

Naruto: Lord Hiashi, you can’t ignore them forever.

Hiashi: She had children with that traitor. Of course I can.

Naruto: Forget Sasuke for one second and think about the kids. They want a grandparent and you’re all they got.

Hiashi: Did my estranged daughter put you up to this?

Naruto: No, it’s just me.

Hiashi: Fine…They have four children?

Naruto: Yeah. Akira’s Shina’s age and they’re close friends, Momo’s two years younger than Akira and Neji and Itachi were just born two months ago.

Hiashi: They have a son named after my deceased nephew?

Naruto: As well as Sasuke’s brother.

Hiashi: I see. How many of them have Byakugan?

Naruto: Akira has a mix between Byakugan and Sharingan-

Hiashi: Abomination…

Naruto: _Anyway_ … Momo is just mastering her Sharingan and Neji and Itachi are Byakugan.

Hiashi: For “Uchiha”, there is a strong amount of Hyuuga blood linage. I’m certain that my daughter’s husband isn’t too pleased about that.

Naruto: Not what I’m hearing. Sasuke is extremely protective of them all.

Sasuke: Of what?

Both Naruto and Hiashi look up to see Sasuke standing in the doorway, a small baby with his hair and Hinata’s face in his arm and one would assume a little girl version of him with Hinata’s hair color holding onto his hand.

Naruto: Sasuke? I didn’t know you had an appointment.

Sasuke: I don’t. Momo just wanted to see you.

Momo *bows*: Hello, Uncle Naruto.

Naruto *smiling*: Hiya, Momo.

Sasuke *glaring at Hiashi*: Lord Hiashi.

Hiashi *glaring back*: Uchiha. * looking at the children* Your children?

Sasuke: None of your business.

Momo: Papa, are you okay? You sound angry.

Sasuke: It’s nothing, Momo. Naruto, could you take Momo and Neji to see Sakura and Shinachiku.

Naruto: Uh, okay? *takes Neji from Sasuke and takes Momo by the hand* I-I’ll see you when you’re done. C’mon, Momo.

Momo: Who was that man you we talking to, Uncle Naruto?

Naruto: I’ll tell you later.

Hiashi and Sasuke were alone in Naruto’s office.

Hiashi: I have nothing to say to you.

Sasuke: And I to you but you do owe me something.

Hiashi: I owe you nothing. You took my daughter from me. The Hokage found a way around the agreement and you two wed without my blessings and you gave her four children. Leave me be and be damned.

Sasuke: Look, you can hate me for the rest of your short life, I could care less. Go to your well deserved grave knowing that I hate you more than anyone I’ve ever met, but you owe me something for Hinata.

Hiashi: And what do you think I owe you two?

Sasuke: I know you won’t go and see her so I’m going to tell her for you. You owe her an apology.

Hiashi: Apology? For what? Abandoning her clan, her blood? For the likes of you? You insult me, Uchiha.

Sasuke: Again, I could care less what you think of me, but Hinata misses you and wishes you to see our children.

Hiashi: I saw them, tell her I did.

Sasuke: Just Neji and Momo.

Hiashi: She had no right to name the boy after her cousin.

Sasuke: It was my idea.

Hiashi gave him a look of confusion.

Sasuke: Neji was important to her so I told her we were naming our next son after him. We didn’t know she was pregnant with twins until she gave birth. She named his brother Itachi after my brother.

Hiashi: She didn’t know she was carrying twins?

Sasuke: She wanted to wait and see.

Hiashi: She didn’t…was she strong during pregnancy?

Sasuke: Had you been there, you’d witness the strongest woman in the entire village. She carried our children with such strength and pride. She loved them from the very beginning and when she was given a C-section for Momo’s birth, she begged them to make sure that Momo was okay. She nearly bleed to death, but she pulled through.

Hiashi *worried*: Sh…She nearly bled out?

Sasuke: Now you’re worried?

The two men said nothing to each other, but Hiashi sat stressful. After a moment, he began to sit up.

Hiashi: I need to see her.

Sasuke: Why?

Hiashi: I need…I need to make this right?

Sasuke: Now you want to make this right?

Hiashi: Goddamn it, Uchiha! Scold me, curse me later!

Sasuke: I’ll curse you now.

Hiashi: I lost my daughter once and I nearly lost her again. I won’t let her live another day like this. You can either take me to her or you can stand in my way, your choice.

Sasuke stared at him for a moment, before stepping aside. Hiashi rushed past him and ran for Hinata.

Sasuke: She’s a teacher at the academy. You’ll find her there.

Turning to watch the old man rush for the academy, Sasuke couldn’t help but smile.

Sasuke *to himself*: Now to make sure that moron hasn’t corrupted my daughter.


	5. People will say we're in love

Sasuke: You’re back.

Hinata: Y-Yes. You looked hungry, s-so I brought you some food.

Sasuke looks at the tray Hinata gave him, full of some of his favorite foods.

Sasuke: How do you know what I like?

Hinata: I-I asked Kakashi-sensei.

Sasuke: At least you weren’t stalking me.

Hinata blushed embarrassingly.

Sasuke: Not that I really care. I’m use to it.

Hinata mutters.

Sasuke: Hm?

Hinata: I-I said yo shouldn’t. You s-should have your privacy…

Sasuke blankly looks at her for a moment.

Sasuke: You really said that out loud.

Hinata: I-It’s true though.

Sasuke takes his first bite.

Sasuke: You know, you and I have been meeting like this for a few weeks. Don’t know if you want people to see us like this.

Hinata: W-What do you mean?

Sasuke: People will say we’re in love.

Hinata blushes madly while Sasuke smirks.


	6. Here comes the next contestant…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Nickelback's Next Contestant

Sasuke: Is that your hand?

A man had his arm on Hinata’s shoulder, his hand slowly reaching for her breasts.

Man: What’s your deal?

Sasuke: Is that your hand?

Sasuke grips the man’s wrist and Hinata winces in fear because she knows what’s coming.

Man: Better get off me unless you want to get hurt, kid.

Sasuke: Is that. Your hand. On my. girlfriend?

Man:Ha! _You’re_ her boyfriend? You look like you belong in a-AAAAAHH!!!

Sasuke twists his arm off of Hinata.

Hinata: S-Sasuke, please! He didn’t do anything!

Sasuke: He put his hand on you, didn’t he?

Hinata: W-Well-

Sasuke: Here it comes.

Man *crying in pain*: Here comes what??

Sasuke: Here comes the next contestant.

Sasuke plunged his fist against the man’s jaw, possibly loosening several of his teeth. The then pulled the man towards him then clothes lined him. The man groans in pain. Sasuke picks him up by his shirt.

Sasuke *through his teeth*: I wish you’d do it again.

Sasuke then grips his head and slams his head and slams him against the table. Then man finally got free from Sasuke’s grip and ran out the door.

Hinata: SASUKE!!!

Sasuke turns to her, unabashed by her outburst.

Hinata: You can’t beat up every man that comes within close proximity of me!!

Sasuke: I don’t. Just the ones who has the audacity to put his hands on you. Besides…

He grips her and holds her close, leans into her ear.

Sasuke *seductively*: We both know they can’t grab at what’s mine.

Hinata blushes madly. Sasuke smirks, but he holds her close to comfort her.

Naruto and Sakura walk in.

Sakura: Mind explaining why a man covered in blood just ran from here?

Sasuke: There goes the next contestant.


	7. Hands Off

Neji: Keep your hands to yourself and off of my cousin.

Sasuke: Okay. *slips his hands into his pockets and kisses Hinata on the lips*

Hinata *blushing madly*: EEP!!!

Neji: HEY!!! WHAT I TELL YOU???

Sasuke: You told me to keep my hands off of your cousin. Did they leave my pockets?

Neji: …You fucking bastard…


	8. Why Him?

Neji: Hinata, seriously…How on earth did you ever fall for someone like Sasuke Uchiha? What happened to your affections towards Naruto?

Hinata: W-Well, Naruto has feelings for Sakura. As much as I-I would love to be with him, his heart belongs to her. Sasuke…he’s different.

Neji: Go figure.

Hinata: W-Well, he treats me with respect. H-He sees my potential better than anyone e-else.

Neji: What am I? Chopped liver?

Hinata: I mean outside the clan. E-Everyone else treats me like a child. He doesn’t.

Neji: Well, I guess. As long as he doesn’t hurt you.

Hinata: Neji, h-he told me of all the people i-in his life, I-I’m the last person he’d hurt.

Neji: I’ll believe it when I see it. But, I guess I have no problem. I mean it’s not like he got you pregnant or something.

Hinata: Weellll…*shyly looks down*

Neji: WHAT??

Hinata whimpers.

Neji: I’LL KILL HIM!!! WAIT UNTIL I-

Hinata looks up at him and smiles.

Neji: …Oh, it was a joke…Wait, you told a joke?

Hinata: Yup.

Neji: Wow, he is a bad influence on you.


	9. Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Venom where Kyuubi is a Symbiote

Rogue Nin holds a katana to Naruto’s neck.

Naruto: Did your mama not love you?

The nin lifts up the katana and hits Naruto in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground.

Naruto *in pain*: Damn it…I guess it pays to be a specialist.

The nin places the blade right over Naruto.

Naruto: You know it doesn’t matter if you kill me anyways because there’s something way bigger afoot in this world than you and me. Much bigger than me-

Sees one of the rouge’s partners get grabbed by burning aura and pulled away.

Naruto: …And it’s much…much bigger than you. *laughs* Karma’s a bitch.

Rogue: I don’t believe in karma.

Kyuubi appears and bites off the nin’s head before tossing his mangled body to the side. Naruto looks up to see Kyuubi has taken on a female form. Her hair was Sakura’s.

Kyuubi-Sakura: **Hi, Kit**.

Naruto: Whoa…

Kyuubi Sakura picks Naruto up, slips her tongue down Naruto’s throat before plunging her lips onto his. In the kiss, Kyuubi slithers off of Sakura and back into Naruto. Full assimilated, Naruto pushes Sakura off and she looks over, terrified.

Sakura: Oh no…I just bit that guy’s head off.

Naruto: Yeah, I know. I’ve been there, it’s not fun.

Kyuubi: **The one with Kabuto is Riot.**

Naruto: Who’s “Riot”?

Kyuubi: **Riot is what you would call a team leader. He has an arsenal of weapons.**

Naruto *to Sakura*: Kabuto’s got his own Symbiote.

Kyuubi: **He is unstoppable.**

Sakura: Oh great…

Kyuubi: **We have got to go!**

Naruto: Go where? Where we going?

Sakura: Well, I’m coming with you.

Kyuubi: **_NO_! It’s going to get ugly!**

Naruto: Well she can fight ugly! Trust me!

Sakura: Yeah I can fight ugly!

Naruto morphs into Kyuubi.

Kyuubi-Naruto: **Not today!**

Kyuubi runs off

Sakura: Oh that’s bullshit!

* * *

Bonus clip

Naruto stands before an elevator, then looks out a window.

Kyuubi: **Jump.**

Naruto walks into the elevator.

Kyuubi: **Pussy.**


	10. Neji and Sasuke Make Amends

Neji: Uchi…Sasuke, can we talk?

Sasuke: What is it?

Neji: Listen, I…I want to apologize.

Sasuke: For what? Be specific.

Neji: For…everything.

Sasuke: Define “everything”. Was it for trying to interfere with my relationship with Hinata?

Neji: …Yes.

Sasuke: For threatening my life every chance you got?

Neji: Yes.

Sasuke: For trying to turn Hinata, the best thing that’s ever happened to me, the one I love the most, the one I’d trade my soul for, against me?

Neji: Yes, yes, listen! I’m trying to apologize and you’re throwing it back in my face!

Sasuke: Well, you earned it.

Neji: You may be right but you and Hinata have been together for a long time and ever since she’s been with you, she’s never been happier. I owe that to you. I misjudged you, and for that I’m truly sorry.

Sasuke: …

Neji: …

Sasuke holds out his hand.

Neji: Wha…I don’t understand.

Sasuke: I’m being the better man.

Neji smirks and shakes his hand. Sasuke replies with a smirk of his own.

Neji: So, where do we go from here?

Sasuke: How about from the beginning? I’m Sasuke Uchiha and I am dating your cousin.

Neji: Very well then. However, if you hurt her, I’ll kill you.

Sasuke: That’s better. Beats what you said before.

Neji: It’s been a few years. What did I say?

Sasuke: Something along the lines of “When I’m done with you, not even the buzzards can find what’s left of you”.

Neji: Sounds like something I’d say.


End file.
